Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
