I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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