So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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