The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
