My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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