Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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