He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
