forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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