"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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