We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
