Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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