I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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