I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
