is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize