Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Im part way to drunk.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
