You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
