Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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