Sry I called you an 8
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
