So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
