Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
