the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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