i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
