I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
