does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
