U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
