She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
