Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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