And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
