where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
