oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Vodka?
Forever.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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