So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
