You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
