I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
