We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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