Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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