He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
