You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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