i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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