Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
