I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
