Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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