Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
