It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
