uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
