and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Randomize
