Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
