I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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