Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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