you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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