They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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