I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
